It's Alive!
by ingrid-matthews
Summary: Lex Luthor is your Halloween host!


**IT´S ALIVE!  
by ingrid**

~*~

Lex´s office was built for face-downs. 

His father bursting in through the oversized oak doors. Dominic smirking over the pool table. Kidnappers, thieves and insane wives chasing him around the desk. 

But it seemed that little had prepared Lex Luthor for what he faced that Halloween afternoon.

Lana Lang, followed by a bouncing group of ten-year-olds, all of them in costume, carrying their candy hauls in large sacks filled to the bursting and ready for the trick' part of Trick or Treat'.

Thanks so much for agreeing to a tour for the Youth Club, Lex,' Lana yelled over the sugar-fueled noise. They´re really excited to see the castle.'

Lex smiled thinly. I live for public service.' He rose, taking care to straighten out his black turtleneck and brush any lint from his dark slacks. Masters of castles had to look their very best; even when showing jelly-stained midgets his priceless possessions. 

Follow me,' he ordered crisply, flinging open the doors and striding down the long corridor.

The tour went smoothly, at least from Lex´s perspective. Behind him, the sound of kids fighting, wrappers ripping, hard candy falling and being crushed underfoot and the occasional expensive decorative item smashing to the floor filled the air, along with Lana´s soft admonishments.

Through the winding corridors the procession went, coming to a dusty, lesser-used part of the house, where a huge wooden door blocked their way. 

Where´s that go?' asked a boy with a large green stain around his mouth. 

Oh, nowhere, really,' Lex said airily. Just the old dungeons. Very boring. Very dull. Nothing of interest.'

Oooooooh, dungeons' the children replied in unison. We wanna see!'

Lex shook his head. No, no, no. I don´t think anyone here would be interested in my secret lab ....' He clapped a hand over his mouth. Did I say that?'

The children began to jump and chant as one. Secret lab! Secret lab!'

Lana began to look nervous. Um, Lex ...'

A resigned sigh. Oh, all right,' Lex said. Now that the secret is out, I suppose I have no choice.' He looked intently at the children. But you must promise me that you´ll never, ever, ever, EVER tell anyone what you´ve seen down here. No matter how strange, how weird, how TERRIFYING it may be, you must never say a single word. Do you promise?'

Twelve sticky hands were raised. We promise.'

Lex nodded. Fine. But don´t say you weren´t warned.' 

He pushed on the heavy door. It opened with a long squeak. Reaching inside the doorway, Lex pulled out a flashlight and lit it. Eerie shadows bounced off the walls and Lex cautioned everyone to watch their step, especially to ignore anything that made a grab for their ankles.

Um, Lex ...' Lana´s voice sounded small and lonely in the dark.

Here we are!' Lex cried with a flourish. A switch was flipped and a yellow floodlight filled the cramped room. 

Cramped because a huge examination table dominated its center. Leather straps hung from the table´s sides, and a long, white sheet covered its top which was strangely ... lumpy.

To each side of the table, beakers bubbled with neon colored fluids over flaming burners. Steam rose from a far corner, wires draped the walls. 

The children blinked in tandem. One of them reached out to fondle a wire, and Lex whirled. Dont touch that!' he cried, making them jump. He took a deep breath. Smiled thinly. I mean, we don´t want to wake the experiments up, do we?'

One girl stared wide-eyed at the lumpy sheet. There´s something ... alive ... in there?'

Lex´s expression darkened. He sounded almost a little ... mad. Why, yes. It´s what I´ve been working on in my spare time for many years now. Once I received my degree in decomposted fleshazoid reanimation from Yale ...'

Decomposted fleshazoid reanimation?' Lana interrupted, her hands on her hips. Lex ...'

He ignored her. I´ve been fascinated by ...' He paused, a low chuckle escaping from his lips. Bringing the dead back to life.'

The cry went up as one voice. Ewwwwwwwwwww!' 

Lex rubbed his hands together. And I´ve finally succeeded. What you see here is the culmination of my years of toil. My greatest achievement.' He smoothed a loving hand over the sheet. My hideous monster.'

At the touch, the lump beneath the sheet grunted and the children took a single step back.

Lex sniffled, then grinned. But he´s beautiful to me. Even if he does have, well, a few bad habits. Oh, and a ferocious appetite. Why, he eats me out of house and home, practically. Silly not-dead thing, he is.'

At the mention of eating, the sheet grunted again, and the children jumped. 

Lex waved cheerfully at the nervous group. Oh, don´t worry, boys and girls. I just fed him last week. He can´t be hungry already.'

One of the more timid girls raised her hand. Um ... what do you feed him?'

Brains,' Lex replied cheerfully. He smiled a gruesomely sweet smile. Fresh, tender brains.'

The children gasped. 

Lana glared. 

Lex continued on, oblivious to their distress and Lana´s annoyance. And I must say he´s quite fussy. He only wants young ones or ones that aren´t used very much. They have to be very soft, very tender brains.' He patted the nearest boy on the head, throwing in a discreet squeeze to his skull in the process. Another sweet smile. How old are you, young man?'

The boy´s mouth fell open. I´m ... um ... twenty-two?' he gulped.

Lex loomed in close. Are you sure?' he said slowly.

The boy scooted away, as Lana cut in. Lex! Come on, now. Tell the kids that you´re just ... '

She was cut off by more inhuman noises. Guuurughggghhhhh!!!' the creature growled. Loudly. 

Hmmmm,' Lex said thoughtfully. He must be hungrier than I thought.'

A terrible howl followed. ARRRRRUGHGHGHGHGHGUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGOOOOGGAH!!!' 

The restraints snapped, slowly the sheet rose and the shrill screams of a dozen children echoed off stone walls. 

And I´m fresh out of brai ... um ... food too,' Lex sighed. This isn´t looking good.' He peered past a glowering Lana, with a hopeful look. I don´t suppose anyone would like to donate some dinner to my poor monster here, would they? I´ll make it worth your while. Or, at least, your parents´ while. Come on. What do you say, guys? Anyone? It won´t hurt, I promise. Okay, it won´t hurt *that* much.'

A screaming stampede up the stairs was his only answer.

As the room cleared, Lana walked up to Lex, until they were practically eye to eye. Her cheek was twitching. I´m am so going to get you for this. I swear it.'

I shiver with anticipation,' Lex simpered back. By the way, Lana, how often do you use your brain?'

But she was already up the stairs, stomping with every step. You won´t even know when it hits you, Luthor. And tell your friend there that the sheet suits him.'

The door slammed and from beneath the crinkled linen, Clark Kent poked out his head. Sheesh. That´s not nice.' He shook away the leather straps and hopped off the table. Now, what´s for lunch? All this talk about eating made me hungry.'

Huh,' Lex said. Maybe I should strap you back to the table.'

Clark ignored him. Hey, check it out.' Stooping down, Clark picked a pumpkin-shaped bag up from the floor. He shook it triumphantly. Someone dropped their candy.'

Score one for the mad scientist and his beast.' Lex peered inside before retrieving two large chocolate bars. He handed one to Clark. I´m reminded of a saying regarding possessions here, my friend.'

That they´re nine-tenths of the law?'

Swallowing a large mouthful of chocolate, Lex shook his head. Nah, I was thinking more along the lines of finders´ keepers, losers weepers. But that one will do just as well.'

Clark chuckled. How mad do you think Lana is?'

Lex shrugged. Her usual pissiness times ten? It´s all her fault anyway. I told her I wasn´t good with kids.'

Oh, you´re great with kids. They´ll be talking about this until the tenth grade, at least.'

You think?' Lex asked, reaching for a watermelon Jolly Rancher.

Would your monster lie to you?' Clark rejoined.

Laughing, they climbed the stairs, fighting over the bag all the way.

~*~

Happy Halloween!


End file.
